Thanksgiving

Last week was Thanksgiving week here in the States.  I was explaining Pilgrims and the origins of Thanksgiving to my six-year-old the other night, and we wondered about how we would have handled this "new world" thing.  I acknowledge there are a lot of complicated storylines about white people, Imperialism, and the effects on Native Americans.  As the Charlie Brown special so vividly depicted, (we watched this again recently- they don't make them like that anymore!)  life was rough for those early pioneers, and I have to give them credit for taking some big risks and trying a lot of new things!  I don't know how accurate our story of the "First Thanksgiving" feast between Indians and Pilgrims really is, but I imagine they were genuinely very thankful to have made it that far.  

I have mixed feelings about how we celebrate Thanksgiving and Christmas these days.  There's too much consumerism, and it's hard to keep hold of the truest meaning.  These holidays are especially difficult for people going through hard times- grief, illness, financial insecurity.  I am grateful that our troubles are mild, but still, life does not always look like what we think it will and sometimes we just don't feel as "happy" as we should.  Nonetheless, I know it is always good to be thankful for what we have.  Research has shown that gratitude has measurable psychological, physical, and social benefits. We feel happier and act more kindly when we practice being grateful.  When we were traveling earlier this year, it was easy to notice and celebrate all the great adventures and beautiful people and things we experienced, and they felt worthy of blogging about.  In honor of Thanksgiving and instead of a Christmas list, I've created a list of my favorite things about life in Durham- new things I've found or developed a greater appreciation for since we've been back...  

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​1. Forest View Elementary School- Our children have gone to school here since Caroline started Kindergarten six years ago.  Over the years, it has become more and more a community.  Since we've been back, we've been taking advantage of our proximity and walking to school more. My two big volunteer roles there are to coordinate a big Fall Festival, complete with games, prizes, bouncy house, face-painting and food trucks, and to help give tours to prospective families.  They are labors of love, but looking around at such a truly diverse crowd, and hearing "Hi Jack's mom!" from various adorable six-year-olds, and hearing stories of teachers knowing and loving my children makes me so very grateful to be a part of this school. I want to give a shout out to the "Forest View Praying Mamas," a group of moms who have formed and meet regularly to pray for our school.  It is inspiring to hear the passion of other women's hearts for the kids and teachers. I am highly motivated to try to make it an even better place, and to attract more families who are willing and able to contribute to the Forest View Family.  We just had dinner with several teachers tonight, and the more I get to know them, the more grateful I am for how invested they are in caring for our children!

2. Hollow Rock Swim & Racquet Club- This is the pool and tennis club nearly across the street where we spend our summer. It is the place that provides the greatest overlap of all our Durham worlds- where we see friends from school, the neighborhood, church, work, soccer, etc.  It is a frequent joke that it is the "un-country club" for like-minded people who just want to relax and have fun.  Dinner at the pool with draft beer in a solo cup sounds good to me!  For several years, Jack was the reigning "belly-flop champion" of the 4th of July games, and it is the place in our life where the kids can be the most free-range.  I don't worry much because the pool manager is also our beloved Kindergarten teacher, and I trust him to get my kids in line if they test the limits!  Join the fun- the more the merrier! 

3.  Christ Central Church - When we returned from London, Charles and I both felt like it was time to explore joining a new church in the area.  We are so grateful for the friends and fellowship at our previous church, but to be honest, we need something "messier."  Charles had a vision and simply felt called to be in a church body where he could form authentic relationships with African Americans.  I needed to be able to sometimes raise my arms up overhead, to cry in front of others, to be challenged to get comfortable being outside of my comfort zone.  We visited several churches, but we've landed on this church in downtown Durham, "that exists to seek the glory of God and the good of Durham, through spiritual, social and cultural renewal."  This mission that acknowledges the importance of physical place and the practicality of loving your literal neighbor resonates with what God was showing us in London.  We're very much still newcomers, but I joined the choir, and our kids are starting to find their place, as evidenced by their comfort level running around the pews after the service.  If this sounds like an interesting take on church for you, please come with us! 

4. Durham Yoga Company- In the heart of downtown, overlooking the Durham skyline, this is my new favorite yoga studio.  It's a happy mix of teachers and styles, legit without taking itself too seriously.  I love taking evening classes and watching the sun set throughout class, ending in mostly darkness.  Sometimes there is an African drum ensemble practicing nearby outside, and even though one might think that would be distracting from yoga, it actually brings me joy thinking about people everywhere doing their thing, literally marching to their own beat.  The studio is part of Carolina Yoga Company, with other studios in Carrboro and Hillsborough.  I just enrolled in the Yoga Teacher Training course for Spring 2019! 

5. Lunch dates with Charles- Namu, Saladelia, Beer Study, Ponysaurus, Haw River Ales
One of the best things we brought home from London was lunchtime dates! Our kids are all in school, and we both have work that is portable. I can be a creature of habit, so it's been fun to widen our repertoire of go-tos. There is a theme... most of these locations have great outdoor seating and craft beer! I promise, the words flow better with a pint in hand! We don't always work, and somehow being out together during the daytime feels kind of like skipping school... 

6. Joe Van Gogh- Friday morning coffee
I realized I have an awkward gap in my schedule on Fridays after I drop Caroline off at school before I have to be at work.  I've decided to see it as a gift, and I regularly stop in this little neighborhood coffee shop on Friday mornings.  I treat myself to a latte, and read a weekly blog post from a friend in London.  She writes about Sabbath and rest, and this little island of time is a marker that I am resisting the urge for constant productivity.  It is so good to be still and quiet, even when life is happening loud and fast all around. 

7. Hillsborough- Ayr Mount and the River Walk
This charming colonial town is only about 15 minutes from us, but feels like a different world.  Ayr Mount is an 1815 Federal Era plantation, now a historic site, complete with a wide lawn and old trees, good for sitting and climbing.  We've loved exploring the 1 mile "Poet's Walk" hike and have made several afternoon adventures by pairing a walk at Ayr Mount with either a bike ride along the River Walk in town, or BBQ & beer at Hillsborough BBQ, of course always followed by ice cream at the new place in town, Whit's Frozen Custard. 

8. Duck Donuts
Why is this so funny to me?  We've always had "treats" on the weekend.  It used to be home-made muffins or Pillsbury cinnamon rolls, but after being spoiled by Gail's Bakery and Paul's Pastry in London, we've upped our game.  Fortunately, a local Duck Donuts opened in Durham while we were gone, and even though it's a chain, they have amazing donuts.  I had never had them before, but now I'm a sucker for the made to order French Toast donut.  We like a little novelty, and I think the fact that the kids can create their own order every week makes it a winner! 

9. Journeymates
Once a month, I meet with a group of women, most of whom I'd never met before September, and we sit near one another in mostly silence for 3 hours!  It sounds totally bizarre when I say it like that, but this shared encounter of holy stillness is life-giving. I am so grateful for the wisdom of the women who lead this time in scripture and prayer, and mostly for the space it creates in my heart to rest in God.  Sometimes not doing anything is far more important and beneficial than my hustle.  

10. My kitchen table
Coming home to a much bigger space, filled with much more stuff than the flat in London was troubling for me.  All I saw were projects, things undone, and stuff we didn't need.  I've done a few of those projects, gotten rid of some stuff, and there is still much undone, but I have come to find peace at my kitchen table.  This is where I sit to write, looking into the backyard, with my dog nearby.  I like to light a candle when I sit here, for the "Hygge" factor.  I do email on the sofa, but when I sit here, I'm focused and open to whatever may come.  I also celebrate my kitchen table because it is the place where most nights we sit together for dinner, and even though it is rarely calm, my kids don't use their manners and usually don't want whatever I've cooked, we are together.  When we remember these years, I think we'll think of the kitchen table as a happy place, where we shared our best things/worst things and learned how to share the spotlight.  I hope it will be a reminder of God's steady provision and nourishment for our bodies and our souls.